What are your dark shadows? What are the issues and events in your life that you avoid or try to keep hidden because they are too scary or too painful?
The problem is that keeping these issues in the dark does not make them go away. To the contrary, it gives them more power in your life because you become a slave to fear and to the need to manage and control the darkness. Both will eventually cripple both your ministry and your personal spiritual growth.
I exhort you to have the courage to shine a light into the dark corners of your life, whatever they are hiding: past trauma, personality weaknesses, unconfessed sins, ongoing struggles, broken relationships, unresolved conflict, nagging doubts, crises of faith, or any other issue that lurks in the shadows. Enlist trusted, mature and wise brothers and sisters, perhaps professionals if necessary, to walk with you.
Whatever the perceived cost of turning on the light, I assure you that the cost of not facing the darkness is far greater, to your own heart and to those to whom you minister.