Choosing Our Pain
Posted: February 16, 2012 Filed under: Change, Leadership, Learning, Life Theories | Tags: Anais Nin, change, pain, risk 3 Comments »I am becoming convinced that we choose our pain.
On the surface that sounds like a ridiculous statement. Why would any of us choose any pain? Yet I believe there are many times when we must choose between two tough options, and therefore choose the pain that seems the least painful to us at the time.
For example, the pain of overweight may be more desirable than the pain of exercise. The pain of isolation may seem better than the pain of vulnerability. The pain of conflict avoidance may feel more bearable than the pain of hard conversations. The pain of stagnancy may be less scary than the pain of starting over.
You may think you are stuck, but in reality are you just choosing a different pain?
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” — Anais Nin
Another interesting thought Angie
I think that we chose the “pain” of least resistance. The sad part of this is that this path is usually the least interesting and fulfilling one….
Yes, Cloud & Townsend talk about the difference between “hurt” and “harm” in their book Boundaries. Sometimes hurt is necessary to avoid harm down the road. For example, eating sugar doesn’t hurt but causes harm, while having a cavity filled may hurt but it’s ultimately for good.
I love this article Angie… and I agree… A friend gave me a bracelet with those words from Anais Nin; so poignant and so pertinent.